There are three advantages of taking the subway. First, the subway is reliable. The subway always comes in same time so we can arrive at the destination in the estimated time to take the subway on time. However, the bus or car is sometimes in the traffic congestion so we can late for a destination. In addition to the morning hours, the road is blocked so car and bus have difficult to move but the subway is not blocked any time because determined number of it operates on the each time. Therefore, using the subway is faster than using the bus although it is full of people so we feel uncomfortable. Second, the subway is cheap. The subway cost for adult is 1150 won and there are subways in Seoul anywhere. Therefore, we can go just about anywhere in the Seoul. For example, we can go to the Gapyeong from Sejong University by taking the Line 7 in Sejong station and getting off in SangBong station and transferring to the Gyeongchun Line. Third, the subway is convenient. I do not have to drive it because the subway driver moves it. If I am sitting comfortably, I have arrived at the destination so we can sleep, study and read in the subway. In brief, the subway is reliable, cheap and convenient.
Hi Heeseon,
답글삭제I nod my head in assent when I read your paragraph. Since there is a subway station near my house, I admit taking the subway has plenty of advantages. Also, I easily recognize examples of your reasons, so I can catch your opinion of the whole writing. Although your paragraph has these strengths, I feel a couple of things are added. First, there is no visual materials in your writing. If you had used visual materials, your paragraph would be a clearer one. Second, it is better to exploit an outside reference proving the reasons. I wish you have taken variety of data validated from an external source. You will do a great job because you have excellent capability.
Have a nice day,
Yeonwoo
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답글삭제Hi HeeSeon! I really agree with your writing. I ride the subway to go to school every day. I’m able to take the bus, but I prefer the subway to the bus. Because the subway is extremely convenient, you said. I can come to school on time thanks to the subway. In addition, the subway is faster than the bus. The subway is not constrained by the traffic. However a popular line (like Line 2) is very crowed during rush hours. Sometimes it hard to use, but it was more convenient than any other transportation. Your writing is good, but I want to write more details.
답글삭제Have a nice day, :^)
woori
Dear Heeseon,
답글삭제When I first read your paragraph, I had an interest to read. It is because I always take subway when I go to school. However, after I read your draft, I found 2 problems. First of all, these reasons already know a lot of people. Then, you have to change informative and new reasons. Second, your paragraph needs specific, detailed, and concise supporting sentences. If you do that, it will be better.
Thanks,
Eunju